Thursday, September 30, 2010

Hymn of nature

--Sweet symphony
Touching the chords of
A lonely dream,
Echoes in the silence
Of perfume of wind..
The amber light
From the sky,
Drenched with a desire,
Falls At the feet
Soaking the memory leaf with
Pure morning dew..
--And the shadow moves
On the orb of unseen pictures,
When mistic fog continues to
drop on the earth
In a soft slow motion..
Shining on Grass blades
It whispers to the breeze
A candid story..
--Velvet mites crawl out
Underneath the feeble roots
Of green carpet,
Like angels they spread
The hymn of nature with praise..
It’s a dream so real
Lonely yet splendid
Warms the coldness
Paints the darkness
With colors of love
Of tenderness filled simple joy…

Monday, September 27, 2010

History of silence!

I just started reading a short story named 'The story of the wind' but I haven't yet finished reading a paragraph and as obscure as I can get I started thinking about the history of silence! Right now I have no clue if I make any sense or not. Just joining the strings of thought. And I realised at this hour ( 3:21 AM) only thing which is not silent around here is my mind!And CPU. There I go,my thoughts are already drifting towards, sound of silence and shadow of silence!
Well for me, no noise is a good noise.The only thing which lets me be myself all the time. I feel whole with the universe when I'm silent  though I never think along those lines or bother about spiritual necessity of being silent. Because silence just happens, comfortably. To be around a person and not to feel awkward/bored when you are silent for long needs,greater level of comfort zone than not feeling awkward/silly when you talk and something stupid happens. I am blessed with such a great comfort zone with couple of my best people and that is something I always feel good about.
Um end of the post! I forgot to think about history of silence, I'll anyway let that slip out of my mind ;)


Sorry I exist ,
Not so far away
Hear me now..
When It rained,
It poured in my mind too
Leaking tears
From my eyes
Yet they didn't fall down..

Memories are green,So painful
Hurting me from inside,
Emptying the blood
Back into my heart
This hollowness,
Shade of loneliness
U gifted it,
And I keep mum

I shout from the tunnel,
Calling your name
You heard it
But closed your ears
I don't hate you less
Did u know,
I know the way out?
All that struggle
The pain I beared?
But I Was just another
Human to you..

Life, How do u want me
To get lost now?
Show the path,
And I'll be gone
All I want to say is,
Sorry I exist,Not so far away..


I feel like a happy cow! :P Alright this is weird ...Just thought for a moment, how much I enjoy my present freedom, joy,love and happiness. And that gives me a modest sense of relief when a current of content wind touching mah soul conveys to be grateful to the environment. Well today wasn't a great day either..It was just  a normal, fruitless, one of those lost and lacking of any luck days but that sure couldn't shake my spirit  for I wouldn't like to let the glitter die down from my happy cow mind : )
Great improvement since my depressed to death days, I find peace in almost everything other than those usual disgusting 'wtf! should ignore that, should ignore them' kind of worldly affairs I come across and I have tried to take an oath too to stop complaining about the world. But getting along is a bit tough as it's the disgust other than anything else which occupies the mind . You get the picture .Even then I kind of hate to acknowledge my disappointment for I don't necessarily feel belonged where other people enjoy stuff. Yeah stuff . And whatever. What I need? no idea. What's my quest? Got no clue. What should I be doing..? well , wish I knew..Hah..I can't care less about it.For time being I'm a not-so-relaxed but a happy cow.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

New lesson

Suddenly I find myself drawn towards knowing things which I never thought I would ever pragmatically apply in my own life. Interestingly I'm studying sales management techniques and that somehow opened a larger perspective about value addition! With that learnt a new approach to own an issue, take care of it, offer views/solution and close the matter. Pretty much sounds like dealings with day to day tasks. Proves it again, all professions are built on similar principles and the foundation remains the same. What left is personalization and hence value addition !

Monday, September 20, 2010

We are Three!

And and and we started getting multiplied! And newest celebrity inclusion to our space is Sincos! This mystery girl can rock the floor with her witty presence ;Vortex and I are super excited to start reading every page from her diary..!! Welcome Sincos!! :-)

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Morning Blues.

I wake up with blurry eyes...I see the clock...7am...I cudnt gather much sleep last night..I slowly get up from my bed cursing every minute,every second and every millisecond of the clock...seems like I just slept for 10 seconds!I walk into the bathroom and absent-mindedly keep bumping around to get my toothbrush and p.....I then come out to find everyone happy cheerful and busy in their work.....I go and sit....until someone notices me (after a long 15 minutes)and then starts the quota of pulling cheeks...petting and pampering....Then finally they serve they say.....its always calm before a storm.....then starts a big fight between mom and me (the regulars)....and finally I storm into my room and bang the door heavily to show the degree of the temperature....and then finally mom somehow peruades me into eating that vibrant coloured breakfast...and then again I curse the person who invented that dish.Now I walk into my room,and log into facebook and look into cute guys' profiles (heights of over-exaggeration) goes the confession.....just look out for notifications,listen to a couple of songs and I remember that I got exams......One more dose of curses for those refreshers......yawn......and then proceeds a "happening day".......Now for tackling Sin and I come......(forbidden finger pops up) (-_-)

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Chemical Rush!

It was a typical Thursday noon..mid-way through work, and a tingling pre-TGIF feeling in the air. Some of the crankiness that prevailed during the earlier part of the week has since dissipated. Had lunch as usual with friend, just as we left the food court, she decided to give vent to a craving for chocolates she had been putting off for days.

Now I, for one, don’t have much of a sweet tooth. Have always frowned somewhat upon the chocolate lovers. Disdain and contempt for the chocaholics has always been my thing. Guess it was time the tables turned. I looked around, and there it was, neatly packaged to trap the innocent and the unsuspecting. Fell prey to the allure of all things flashy and velvety. Bourneville beckoned. Seduced by undeniable Dark Charms, went ahead to buy a dose of the supposed elixir of happiness. Or perhaps I had _earned_ it by denying myself the pleasure of all things carbs, fat, sweet and calorific the past few months. Hmmm.

As I walked back to my cubicle, popped one chunk in. And then another. And another. And another. Until I had finished up the entire pack. And was left craving for more. Only the ridiculosity of it and possibility of a tummy ache the morning after kept me from getting another one. Looks like I have thing for 6-packs :P

What followed was what I had thought to be merely a myth propagated by choco biggies to sell themselves better. Experience told me otherwise. The endorphin rush surely did paint the world in a better hue. Or gave me rose-tinted glasses. Either way, felt myself taking a brighter view of things I had cribbed about earlier. It began to seem like one of those days when everything seems to go your way. Talk about instant gratification :P

That sure has made me gain a whole new perspective about things -the profound and the mundane we snort at without giving them a second look..who’d think a bar of chocolate could give you that much-needed whack on the head.’:-

The Aztecs were known to trade with cocoa beans..Boy! They sure did mix business with pleasure! And if that were a crime, the Aztecs sure were one helluva guilty lot :P

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Left untitled intentionally :D

Today my friend made me listen to a very poetic song in my mother tongue and that reminded me of those good old days of my stint in poetry.. I still cherish my old poems..and here I go again ! An instant poem ;)

You smile
Through those hazel eyes
Your sweet nothing
Yet to reach my ear
I can wait
To see the twinkle
In your eyes
And the brighteness
Of your grin
One more time...
When you look
Into my eyes
I feel wings
On every heart beat baby..
I'll paint your smile
On clouds love
So sing with me
And smile..yes just smile
One more time ...

*bleh* and I refuse to think any further, Can't believe I really wrote that here! Feels like a teenager :P

Friday, September 10, 2010

Paradigm shift

Some of the things that have changed since college:

I now live on my own
I bond with mum over recipes
I prefer getting things done earlier in the day- a 12 hour turnaround(Do not even MENTION the initial jetlag. Buh. : l)
Heavy metal has been replaced by trance and hiphop, ipod by the radio
A section of the world’s chatrooms have lost a net troll (I will NOT elaborate on that!)
I’m marginally bolder around roaches and such other low life
Dhanno has made way for the local bus. No mo JoyRides L
I _actually_ enjoy going to malls, if only for the eye candy at times

There, a list. I finally have one A LIST my blog! Love making lists. And striking out the items more so. Yay!

Anti-depressant :P

At 8PM , I screamed - " Noway on earth I am going out of house now! I am so very comfortable blinking in front of THIS screen!! " My sister thinks, I need some fresh air for I have not gone out of the house whole day. So what ..I have a window to my room to get the fresh air.Lol, As arrogant as it sounds I know I am reaching the depths of depression and finally decided to abide by sister's rule for at this point she knows it better,what is good for me : ( Here I come sis.. Take me wherever you want.. How about Ice cream shoppee..Heard that's an anti-depressant ;)

Thursday, September 9, 2010


With the force that R15 saccade and scattered on the highway , after gliding along the slope with as high as that speed thought I just witnessed deaths of those riders. But thank goodness,I believe they didn't suffer much injury for yesterday at 8 PM road was surprisingly empty.All the while they were thrown up in the air, hit the ground and slided past me for about 5 metres, I stood where I was. Wide eyed.. I still remember the expressions on their faces . Had I not stepped on the footpath , I would have gotten crushed then and there when the bike came to a hault after hitting a car parked beside me..Since they got timely help, I just shook head and placed the earphones back while heading towards home.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

OK lol :P

We are the music makers.
We are the dreamers of dreams!
We are the movers and the shakers of the world!
Er! Presenting Joy of life..!! :P
Aye Vortex, u listening? :P


Insomnia is the name for it and I stood looking with stupid eyes at the rising sun from the rooftop of my house.I don't like it when everytime I program my mind to react only to positive vibes ,I fail on the arrival of  the first negative-vibe storm . How much I hate it when it is mainly due to my emotional outburst I don't accomplish what I am supposed to do on a day. Enough of this now..I need a passion to get up in the world to rise in the eyes of my own soul. Enough of selfless affair. Though I don't have any selfish motives or a near thought I do understand - what I need is, a push - to put my self in  the open space to organise those ideas. To pick them from where I left them orphaned. This craving to survive not from the outer world but from my own nothingness is making me so restless. I need to understand the hierarchy of my needs. But when actions and motives don't go hand in hand it restricts me from closing my eyes. And as they say,If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail! Wish I knew the art of choosing. Maybe I already started learning it.. 

It's a Zen thing

I have discovered of late that I do not burn with ambition. Sometimes, it’s a tad disappointing to see that I don’t have the same ‘urge’(!) to succeed and reach higher levels in my chosen profession. Take up a better job, do more meaningful work, make more moolah, blah blah. Wait, I take back the moolah part. Definitely a bigger rake and more of the crisp greens would be appreciated. But talk about career and obsessive ways of advancing it, and I’d much rather sit back and enjoy a beer, or rather, a pina colada on the beach, waving at pretty boys as they pass by in colorful shorts. At least for now. My point is, you can be contented at any stage. If you keep looking to find it, its going to elude you no matter what you do. Granted, it isn’t something new, but when you realize age-old truths for yourself, it’s a revelation beyond what anything between the covers of a book can teach you.

But that doesn’t stop me from googling away and hatching plans at studying short term courses that we can take up to fill in those teeny spaces which are now taken up by re-runs on TV. Tangent, are you listening?

For now, ‘Eat, Pray, Live’ is the mantra!

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Bridging the gap? Naah!

Every day, I can feel myself making a transition between two worlds- the place where I live and the place where I work. Literally and figuratively, they seem worlds apart in that the place where I live isn’t the choicest of places be at.
Initially, the fact that moving house is no piece of cake kept me from shifting. But time seems to make everything bearable. Or, definitely more palatable. Its nearly half a year since I started living on my own, and honest, nothing could compare to what home feels like And I find myself so much more calmer and at peace as I have never felt before. Annnd…..I talk to mom and dad more than before. Conspiracy theory at this point: Telephone companies make people want to talk more. Start paying for it, and you cherish it more. But that’s the topic for another blog entry.

Workplace is what I have always dreamed of. Decent people that go about their business and don’t give a damn what you are up to. Whether you are enjoying a cuppa and some solitude in the food court or leafing through random volumes at the library. Man, how I hated college and still do and will continue to do so :l Not _my_ college per se, but the concept of college itself. Here’s to them clones. Clones of each other. *shows the forbidden finger with gusto*

The stark contrast between home and work, unsettling at one point, does not bother me too much these days. Infact, I wonder if I like it that way. It’s made me so much the wiser. The descending dark when I reach home is more than I can ask for. Mingle with crowd and go unnoticed. In a solitary bubble of peace, and gratitude for the peace that pervades.

Chasing Emotions!

Was looking for some music for the current mood and couldn't have found anything better than the above playlist. Even when I'm not a great fan of Pop ,Pop Rock I could connect with these songs well. For now I love Jojo's **Too little Too late! **

Oh yeah!

It's been a long time..a lot of water has passed under the bridge and a lot of posts have been thought up or written and erased or forgotten. Never thought I'd survive without the net, but looks like i did. A brief respite now from a net-less existence.Have been having one of those classic bad days after a long time. Was feeling pretty chatty earlier in the day but managed to bore at least 3 people to death. I could just lie down and go off to sleep, right here right now. I'm so tired. Waiting for the weekend to kick off. One of the things about working on computers is that you get extremely tired and hungry, whether you've managed to accomplish anything or not. Guess I should just sign out.

[­­­­­­­­­­­Thursday, May 27, 2010!]

Another day, another post

The day started late it has for the past three months..two successful attempts to change the trend had been made in the past two days..the first day by dragging myself up with all the willpower I could muster and the next day by not sleeping at all the whole night(made easy, courtesy wikipedia and my “thirst for knowledge”, better put as “curiosity that killed the cat” or “curiosity that compromised the PC”). These two days it wasn’t even half-hearted like the previous attempts had been..But it being not my nature, I fell back into the routine imposed by my upside-down circadian rhythm and rose a few minutes shy of noon.Everything went on as well as things can go when you’re walking a tight-rope. The ‘tight-rope’ here being domestic peace. I had breakfast in place of lunch and planned to have lunch at tea-time. There was something in the air, something electric, that told me it wouldn’t be smooth sailing today..not with my plan to change my routine having failed so miserably.As expected, it was a little before tea-time that my fears proved legitimate, with the quarrel that broke out between mom and me, over you-know-what. Added to that was the fact of my current state of unemployment and absence of any sign of attempts at acquiring a means of living in the near future : D And what followed next was a verbal assault made more painful by the gem of truth in the words shot at me and the only way I could escape from reeling under it was by totally blocking the words from reaching me. But all I was doing was insane backtalk. Many a times have I wondered how mom tolerates me.Needed something to stop myself from mouthing insanity, stat. Located my heavy metal folders in record time. Blessed earphones, you were handy at the moment of need, thou shalt attain salvation. Well that seemed to be just the right thing to do. For the moment.With me blissfully unaware of the verbal torrent and what it carried, peace finally descended upon the household. Things seemed to have cooled down by teatime. Thank God for earphones and the likes of deicide and Human rejection \m/.Also, tea seems to viably soothe flaring tempers :D :)

[­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­Wednesday, October 7, 2009!]

A new day, a new start!

So..this is the day it finally comes to desire to start a blog..a passing thought that I should put all my passing thoughts into words..(!) at least to make sense of my own chaotic thought processes (not a very good way to start off a creative endeavor..but then well..who cares..its for my own pleasure that I write this…)No particular reason I’m writing this..except may be to look back on what I’ve gained through the years..a written record of my own mental evolution…to understand myself and the discordant, converging, interlaced, and any-number-of-adjectives-world or simply put, the wonderful world around..Its 6 in the morning (6:16 to be precise) and there could be no better time than this to start off a blog (or maybe a new exercise routine, or maybe just have a cuppa as I just did ;) ) with the rain pouring outside..rain drops hitting the windowpane beckoning me to open the window and smell the fresh earth…its been raining for a few days now and the weather seems to have taken a continual gloomy hue..i likey ;) The thought for this blog occurred, rather simultaneously (heh), to my friend and 3:00 in th morning, as it should, to good night owls ;)..but that was a long time ago..and we talked about it for over an hour before we stfu-ed and silently promised to ourselves we would never speak about it until the time we _actually_ had something to put on the blog !Fast forward to today..its probably been a month..or more.. since that time..and here comes the first post.. I’m not reeling under false illusions..I know I may never have anything important to report on the posts..but what the heck..that’s what makes it all the more interesting.._all_ play and no work! Just a collection of the 3 R’s-rants, raves and random thoughts..hurrr ;)[P.S.: Updates might be random and highly irregular..and on a range of irrelevant and unrelated topics..given to whims and fancies of a cluttered mind.. : D]
[Monday, October 5, 2009!]

And here we go again!

Finally we got motivated to keep a blog and we being inseparable twins -[ ah, they say that :) -- just jealous I say :P ]- thought why not make it collective! But funny this is the third attempt . Us, Tangent and vortex together want to cherish the memories rather want to keep a tab on our day to day struggling with our own selves and our attempt to make a day a contentful day. We believe in the saying - Happiness happens! And we do turn all unhappening things around us into superfun in our way .Welcome to our darkroom! We gonna unfold our life in the past and the transformation process which constantly amuses us by feeling what have we become! Here we will try to turn the negatives into colorful pictures ! Do not mind if they occasionally turn into sepia or greyscale! God bless and Amen to us ! : )

Saturday, September 4, 2010


Saturday evening, pleasant weather outside the window .But I convinced myself not to go out in the pouring rain after the Thermometer showed my body temperature to be 102F and I know it will be be worse in the night. Quite blank at this moment, not in a state of mind to put any effort to think . A bit sad, for I lost most precious thing in my life very recently. Just wondering how will I be able to live with one less emotion everyday from now on. Strangely,all I can think about is colors! And I am blue! Colorblind song by Darius just flashed in mind but I cannot listen to as lovely a song as that....

Certainly ,With thoughts flowing not so lucid in all directions it is quite of a torture to force them to be directed towards the future. And am trying. Used to believe in only present . But the torment of  the moment makes me feel sick about my innocent surroundings. Need to work my energy out to be a human. Yes, I have my own definition of "Being a Human". For that I need to gather colors to paint my life again into a picture with a meaning..

And I start my journey! Here..One more time! ...Red Green Blue...!

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