Shchekotiki

Insomnia is the name for it and I stood looking with stupid eyes at the rising sun from the rooftop of my house.I don't like it when everytime I program my mind to react only to positive vibes ,I fail on the arrival of  the first negative-vibe storm . How much I hate it when it is mainly due to my emotional outburst I don't accomplish what I am supposed to do on a day. Enough of this now..I need a passion to get up in the world to rise in the eyes of my own soul. Enough of selfless affair. Though I don't have any selfish motives or a near thought I do understand - what I need is, a push - to put my self in  the open space to organise those ideas. To pick them from where I left them orphaned. This craving to survive not from the outer world but from my own nothingness is making me so restless. I need to understand the hierarchy of my needs. But when actions and motives don't go hand in hand it restricts me from closing my eyes. And as they say,If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail! Wish I knew the art of choosing. Maybe I already started learning it..