Scarred

I saw a dream

A dream of daffodils

I saw us there

Laying on our backs

Staring at our reflection

In the sky...

I saw moving clouds

And a broken rainbow...

Our shadows moved

In despair

Splashing the only color, 

We had in our palms;

The violet, 

Dipped in dew of love

Dripping from our hearts

I saw two broken dreams

Melting into nothingness

Fading slowly into the void

Leaving a gentle scar in the memory

"Our God is a consuming fire" (Heb 12:29)

His plans are strange. He doesn't demand a NO to His children unless they are on the verge of committing that one non correctable wrong in their life.

Lord you know what's best for me. I submit my will in your hands.

"You alone are the Holy One, you alone are the Lord, you alone are the Most High Jesus Christ, with the Holy Spirit, in the glory of God the Father. Amen."

Pic: Found on indulgy.com

Sadness is the new joy

This I discovered lately - when I feel down I become humble and content.

It feels quite destructive at the surface,  however my recent meltdown was indeed a blessing in disguise. I could take many decisions and could come to a conclusion on remaining issues.

Here am I. I am no more parked diagonally in the parallel universe!

It's weird though.

(Pic courtesy: dailyBiblememe.com ) 

I got no clue, why do I feel so low

Clouds are moving
And its pouring in my heart
I try to walk in the rain
But something's stopping my steps and I cry

My smile faded when you disappeared
Knowing you will never be back
Don't you know your presence colors my shadow
And I start drawing rainbows

We'll break all the walls and mend our hearts
When the shadows lifted and our heart inflamed
Until then darling I'll keep you safe in my prayers
Just know that, I'll meet you in heaven

Prayer to Holy Spirit- Thanksgiving

Who else could have helped me to complete that project? My first & last resort was God. Thank you God!

Blue sky & its reflection

When I fail to look through foggy sky,
The one who comes in mind & smiles at me
Could that be you?

When I fail to climb back from the deepest lows
The one who reminds me of calmness of ocean blue
Could that be you?

Maybe you are just a dream
Or the vibrant rainbow I need
Would you raise me when I sink
Would you hold me when I fall?

The beauty of Your works

Glory to You

The rainbow must reflect the light
The river must flow
Flowers must lift their faces to You in honor
And I must kneel before You oh Lord!
To sing Your praise!

Unintelligible are Your ways
To reveal Your love for me
I can only bow down and revere
My soul sings aloud and You calm me down
You drench my heart with Your sweetness
In You I will persevere to my end
My little ceaseless prayer
When I am in my weakest state
For You Lord my deepest love
When I am but a feeble bubble

Whew

The thought came as a hard slap. There is no tomorrow. We just have one prolonged life of wait to go back to our real home. That's why we are not content here. So I cannot have a tomorrow to start afresh. It is just now or a moment is lost forever.

Goodness of wind

I woke up to the chimes of golden bell
From the hill where I used to dream of white roses
I want to make a wish with closed eyes
But I get paranoid when the echos reflect my every thought back
Is this the feeling of harmony within?
Or is it the cry of my saddened soul?
I am overwhelmed but want this feeling to last don't know why

Now I'm lost in the memory land
But I don't doubt to live my dream again
The only fear which makes me numb is
Of falling down of the back of the music wave
Where I have not opened my eyes yet
I am lost in the memory land
I wish I could make you feel of the same goodness
When the wind kisses my face and I remember you again

Lonely Lullaby - Owl City

Dreams don't turn to Dust!- Owl City

Fooled by randomness

I chose to be happy despite of that one killing pain reminding me of my worthlessness in the eyes of that less worthy feeling and that's one more reason why I like to get fooled by randomness.And I continue to be worthless yet elegant in the core. This detachment is not what I was searching for within yet this is it. I'm eager to get engrossed in the real life which I try not to avoid. But with this determination of never to get fooled by a routine, I am just doing fine.

Maybe I should just get going.

Something beautiful!

Less obvious is my own thought
When I pause for a moment
But I don't evolve

Fullness of vision is like a plant
It grows upwards
And deepens its roots at the same time

I feel restless when I lose a moment
But there is no time to feel guilty
For it will lose my one more instant

Then what is it that drives the soul
If not the power of grace!
This amazes me more than ever

I don't want to close my eyes just by a thought
That there is something beautiful!
Sweet and strange which only heart can grasp
Yes there's something beautiful!

I am not innocent.

There could be no tomorrow, if I refuse to live today.If I block the light, my heartbeats will lose the rhythm because my dreams live there. Perception does not start in eyes, nor does it end there. Mind does not watch either, it is the vision of your own self, the understanding of who you are sees. How important then it is to seek oneself! No, it is not to gain some insight about life or to gain wisdom or to deduce the complexity of nature.Rather, it is to perceive the truth in its whole sense. To be truthful is simple. Being simple is not complex too.Truth is, it takes hard work to lose the track of life for once. How unlucky are they who never try to gain their innocence back. Innocence is the purity gained through being aware of self and by experiencing greater love. Innocence does not seek wisdom. It is the higher state of heart where vices don't touch it. Innocence when misunderstood hurts. But pain is good!

Maybe I need a mold

I wonder how water flows so flexibly
I wonder how breeze touches us so kindly
When I think, I do not think in the words really
When I imagine I do not consider the future really
Though past or future do not control me now
I control no today nor myself
I realize my works can affect no future
Rather they define my nature now
If water can flow so flexibly
And wind be so kind
Why can't I try to be what is pleasing
When sorrow could bring happiness
I would rather feel its weight than flee away
When the faith plants its roots
Its the divine will can lead us through the dark
My dream is to be deserving for more mercy
To be close to His heart when I breathe on earth and thereafter

Today's favorite quote

The first step in knowing who you are is knowing who you are not.
~ Dom Hubert Van Zeller

More than a dream

When I close my sleepy eyes, your image gets blurred and you slip through my cheeks as a tear..When I wake up & open my eyes, I find you again filled in my eyes..Do you enter my eyes through the dreams I never dream? But you choose not to stay in my eyes and you slip through my cheeks again and I touch the mark you left there..Yes you were more than a dream, more of a realization..You were the only dream I ever dreamed yet the only realization I ever need.

My fight with her

Nowhere in the world, but in the memories
I find it hard to live for a moment
As suffocating as it gets
I find it hard to move my limbs
I wish for a miracle
To shed the scales of pain
My skin speaks for me, when I get numb
It fights within itself, mocks in a way I feel bitter
Now my whole being is screaming
Against the person who loved you
She was better when she never knew you
Suffering eternally in bounds of obliviousness
Tell me how I can make her torpid
For she’ll never stop being herself
She loves you more than ever
For she loved you more than she could ever

A note to myself

It feels nice to feel nice for no reason.
And it feels to be in peace, to be in peace when not everything is at its place.
It does feel great when all you know is, you know nothing enough and you try hard to not to push yourself too hard just to know enough.
It feels best when you close eyes and smile at your own self when you feel your smile bringing a tear at the corner of your eye and you don't try to wipe it.
It just feels a moment filled with life when silence calms the waves deep inside and you are just yourself imperfect but happy inexplicably...
It feels nice to feel nice for no reason.